Our humble entry in the title sweepstakes for J.J. Abrams' probably upcoming $120 mil addition to the increasingly troublingly lame Star Trek franchise:
Star Trek: Exhausted
Catchy, doncha think?
First off, what we must grapple with is that, regardless of his professed devotion to SF, Abrams made his name in a small-box version of the horror genre. Then he put Jen Garner in wigs. Then he went to work on his study in serial bafflement, Lost, which got off to a rousing start but has since degenerated into a show that has to be aggressively TiVO-ized and fast-forwarded to be enjoyed.
Now we hear that casting will visit the original series crew, in a younger incarnation. Kirk's in. Spock's in. Uhura. Chekov, for the love of god. What we seem to be forgetting here is that a dead franchise was revived in '87 via The Next Generation precisely because Trek evolved. What leaking out of Abrams' set at the moment are strong implications of dreary regression. Memo to Paramount: No more Kirk! No more Spock! We don't need no stinkin' Klingons!
Something new and dark (and not Deep Space Nine dark, more Alien Resurrection dark) and weird and deeply effed up would be preferable. Boldest possible move: Depict a post-TNG universe in which Starfleet has gone completely Spartan and imposed military values throughout the galaxy. The Enterprise and a whole new crew find themselves hunting down rebels, who are allied with the Borg.
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